The Cheese Wheel
by iTomato
Summary: The Cheese Wheel has caused a lot of damage... everyone is affected my its mystery, and now the whole crew is doing straaange things...Discontinued.


The Cheese Wheel  
  
a humorific horrifying story of chaos and insanity. written by Georgina Alexandria Emilia Susana Samantha Priscilla Brianna Marianna Isabella Victoria Smith. The seventh. aka, MysticalDreamer.  
  
the world is a betting place b/c i do not own yugioh. the world is a better place b/c i do not own the Matrix. the world is a better place because i do not own Home Depot. the world is a better place b/c i do not own... aw screw it! the world would be a better place if i owned all that! but alas.. i do not.. all i own is the bottle of mountain dew sitting by my moniter...  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& ^^ &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
chapter one: and so the story of the sacred Cheese Wheel will begin  
  
"Its really dark outside," said Tristan. "And the thundering is making me scared! The lightening!" he said, diving under the covers.  
  
"You idiot." said Kaiba. "Its a bright, sunny day."  
  
Tea sighed. Bakura yawned. Joey snored. Yugi grinned. Yami sat in the corner. Yami Bakura was looking evil. Malik was glaring. Yami Malik was tyed to the ceiling fan. And it was spinning. Pegasus was standing on his head. And the other odd assortment of people in the room were also doing various things.  
  
Now, you may be wondering why all these people are here. You may be wondering how all these people got here. You may be wondering why the sky is blue-  
  
"Wait a minute! Its ORANGE!"  
  
Hmm.. who can be interupting the story?  
  
"I am!"  
  
And just who are you, I am?  
  
"Err.. That is not important! But I'm telling you the sky is purple!"  
  
Wait.. you just said it was orange...  
  
"No, I said it was purple."  
  
Are you trying to confuse me?  
  
"I told you, fool! The sky is maroon!"  
  
I would advise you to stop.  
  
"Stop?! You want me to stop preaching the true color of the sky that is yellow!?"  
  
Is using her mystical authoress powers to silence the jabbering of this fool who dares to speak when they are not supposed to be speaking  
  
"Noo!! I WILL BE BACK!! I SWEAR!!!....."  
  
Brushes hands Now that the annoying speaker is gone, I shall continue.  
  
Ahem! It all began.. on a dark, gloomy day ... in Domino City...  
  
"Wait!" said Joey, looking around. "There are spots!! I'm seeing SPOTS!!"  
  
Geez, you people take me too literally... Using powers to change city  
  
"I'm cured! Hurray!" squealed Joey.  
  
Groan Anyway!  
  
Yugi opened up his umbrella upon leaving the grocery store. The rain was lightly coming down, but having just bought his dinner, he did not want it to get wet. And what was his dinner, you ask? Why- it was a wheel of cheese. Yes. Cheese.  
  
Yugi quickly dashed home, protecting his cheese against the wetness of the rain. Reaching the Game Shop, he quickly went inside and quickly removed his shoes while quickly closing his umbrella and quickly closing the door.  
  
"Grandpa! I'm home!" he called into the house.  
  
There was no reply, except for a large strain of Egyptian curse words that Yugi dare not to repeat. There was also a loud boom.  
  
"Yami!" shouted Yugi into the house. "Are you using the oven to bake muffins again?"  
  
"Why, whatever gave you that idea?" came the reply from within the kitchen.  
  
"Will you stop quoting those Matrix commercials?" asked Yugi, entering the kitchen.  
  
"There is no Matrix." said Yami.  
  
"Where did you put the oven, Yami?"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I'm saying that the oven has *mysteriously* disappeared. Again." said Yugi, looking around the kitchen where there was indeed no oven. "And I know you were baking muffins. Even though you are perfectly aware that only Yami Malik is capable of baking them to perfection, which is why you are not allowed to use the oven for muffins. Or anything else for that matter."  
  
"I was not baking muffins."  
  
"Then why do you have an apron covered in apples on?"  
  
The apron on Yami vanished without a trace. Much like the oven.  
  
"Did you send the oven and your apron to the Shadow Realm again?"  
  
"Of course not."  
  
"Ok Yami.." said Yugi. "Give me the money you've saved up."  
  
"What?!" declared Yami, looking horrified. "You mean the money I've been saving to go to Timbuktu?!"  
  
"Yes, Yami. That money."  
  
"Never!!"  
  
"I will never allow you to have any muffins ever again." said Yugi. Instantly, a few hundred dollars appeared in Yugi's grasp. "Why thank you Yami." he grinned.  
  
Yami looked very unhappy. "Timbuktu is not worth having no muffins..."  
  
"Now I am going to go back to Home Depot to buy an oven. Again." said Yugi. "Now, you can either stay home and watch reruns of the Three Stooges or come with me and get muffins."  
  
Yami was instantly at Yugi's side. "By the way, Yugi.." he said, pulling on his shoes. One on his left foot and one on his other foot. "What did you buy at the store?"  
  
"WAAH!!!" said Yugi, running back to the kitchen. This sudden burst of energy instantly triggered some sort of wind that caused Yami's clothes to blow. But his hair magically stayed put in place.  
  
"How could I have forsaken you, cheese wheel!" Yami heard Yugi scream out from the kitchen. As his hikari was in the kitchen, Yami dug into his pocket and pulled out a large, extra fluffy, muffin. He ate it one bite. Yes. One bite.  
  
"I owe you, Yami Malik.." he whispered.  
  
"Alas.. I have not lost you, sacred cheese wheel." said Yugi, coming back into the room where Yami was, which was near the door. "Do I smell muffins?" he asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh. Okay then." said Yugi. "Its off to Home Depot to buy a new oven. Come Yami. Let us fly." he said. He kicked open the door and leaped out the door. He spread out his arms behind him and began to run. He also screamed weee.  
  
Yami preceeded to walk out of the house, with his hands in his pockets.  
  
As the two headed for Home Depot, they had no idea how much chaos would soon endure to them.  
  
Interuption "Endure to them? What kinda saying is that?!"  
  
Did I not already banish you from this story?  
  
"Ah ha! But I have returned! To now preach the truth of-"  
  
Shut up you. Gone! Now that thats taken care of, let us continue with the story.  
  
The two headed for Home Depot, when they realized it was still lightly drizzling. Now this was quite odd as the sun was shining and the skies were clear. What could cause this strange phenomenon to occur?  
  
Backstage "Erp! Sorry bout that ..."  
  
Ahh! Thank you, Stan! coughs Now that the rain has ceased, let us continue.  
  
Within a matter of an extremely short amount of minutes, the two reached the end of the Home Depot Parking lot.  
  
"Look, Yugi." said Yami, pointing to an object. This object was around the size of Yugi and had wheels. Yes. It was a shopping cart. "Can I put you in and drive it around?"  
  
"There shouldn't be shopping carts at Home Depot, should there be?" asked Yugi.  
  
Suddenly, two people wearing black appear from no where and pull the cart away.  
  
"I don't know. I think I've seen them before." said Yami.  
  
Suddenly, again, the two people in black appeared again, pulling the cart back into the spot it had previously been.  
  
"You sure?" asked Yugi.  
  
The cart went away.  
  
"Positive." said Yami.  
  
The cart came back.  
  
"Oh well. Lets just get into the store now." said Yugi.  
  
"Sounds good to me." said Yami.  
  
The cart remained in its current position.  
  
The two reached the revolving doors of Home Depot and stood outside of them, waiting for them to spin.  
  
"Wait." said Yugi. "Does Home Depot have revolving doors?"  
  
"No." said Yami. "I think they are the automatic ones."  
  
By some mysterious force, the revolving doors disappeared and automatic ones came in their place. Why do you look at me?!  
  
Yugi and Yami stood outside the doors, waiting for them to open. Eventually, Yami cracked and pulled a muffin out of his pocket. "Open darnit!" he shouted, tossing it at the door.  
  
The muffin rammed into the door and spontaneously combusted. Which caused the door to finally open, allowing them inside.  
  
"My muffin!!" shouted Yami.  
  
"Its your own fault.." said Yugi, walking inside. Yami followed, very sad at the loss of one of his precious muffins.  
  
"Back again, you?" asked a random worker who was walking by.  
  
Yugi nodded. "Yes." he said. "Off to the oven department."  
  
"Home Depot as an oven department?" asked Yami.  
  
"They do now." replied Yugi. "As numerous numbers of people continuously enter the walls of this building to purchase oven after oven."  
  
"You're using big words again."  
  
"Oh.. sorry. They do now." said Yugi. "As lotsa people keep coming here to buy oven after oven."  
  
"Better!"  
  
The two headed for the oven department. Along the way, they said hello to every person they had come to know all the same they had been here.  
  
"No Mokuba! Stop!"  
  
The two Yugis turned and peeked around a corner.  
  
"Please! Get this little boy away from me!" said an old lady carrying many packages, holding a piece of plywood and looking very ticked off with an attitude problem.  
  
"I'm trying.."  
  
Yugi and Yami's mouths both dropped. Who could it be? Well it should be quite obvious as the name was stated just a few sentances ago, but what they are doing will be somewhat disturbing. Either that or maybe just strange. Its all your opinion.  
  
Kaiba stood there, holding a bag of dog treats and a leash attached to his little brother. His little brother was currently wearing a dog collar with spikes, which the leash was attached to. Mokuba was also on all fours, sniffing the buttocks of the old lady holding plywood.  
  
"Look away, Cheese Wheel.. look away.." said Yugi, hiding the 'eyes' of his cheese.  
  
Kaiba looked over. "Hello you worthless turd." he said, waving for a moment, then tugging on Mokuba's leash again. Mokuba barked.  
  
"Whatever is going on here?" asked Yami.  
  
"How many times have I told you, Yami. Stop talking like your from the Matrix commercial!"  
  
Mokuba was now sniffing a nearby paint can and lifted his leg into the air. "NO MOKUBA!" shouted Kaiba, tugging hard on the leash. "I told you, outside only!"  
  
Yugi and Yami blinked. Immensely disturbed. As am I.  
  
"What brings you here?" asked Kaiba. "Did you lose another oven?"  
  
"How did you guess?" asked Yugi.  
  
"Gee.. I dunno.." said Kaiba, then he suddenly lurched foward. "Mokuba!" he ordered. "Get over here now!" and Mokuba came trotting over as best he could on his knees and hands. Hands and knees. Which ever order you prefer it to be in.  
  
So, Yugi, Yami and the Kaiba brothers headed for the newly invented Oven Department to buy a new oven for Yugi. Why Kaiba was following we'll never know. It could perhaps be because Mokuba seemed quite vicious at the moment and was tugging him along violently. But then again, who knows. It could be leprechauns pulling everyone along for lunch later.  
  
After a few minutes, they reached the oven department. There was a nice, new stack of ovens just waiting to be bought by the hikaris of the muffin lovers.  
  
Yugi spotted one all the way at the end of the hall. It was dark blue! It also had red knobs and buttons. A very odd thing about it, which no one seemed to notice but the dog-boy Mokuba, was that the clock on the oven read 6:66.  
  
"I heart this oven!" squealed Yugi, staring at it with hearts for eyes.  
  
"Is that humanly possible?" asked Kaiba.  
  
"No." said Yami. "But this world doesn't exist. There is another world out there.. where everything that doesn't seem real, is. And-"  
  
"Shut up!" shouted Yugi.  
  
"Shutting up.."  
  
Whilest Yugi oogled at the wonderous oven he encountered, Yami began plotting ways to raise money so he could go to Timbuktu. Kaiba was wondering how his little brother became a dog. To this day, that mystery has still not been solved. cough Mokuba was now hissing and growling at the oven. If dogs can't hiss, too bad. This one does.  
  
"Calm down, Mokuba." said Kaiba. He pulled out a dog treat. "Beg, Mokuba! Beg!" he said. Mokuba got on his knees and his toungue rolled out. Kaiba dropped the treat and it was gone in three and a fourth seconds flat, into the stomach of Mokuba.  
  
"Yami... I have found our next oven." said Yugi. He pulled out his beloved Cheese Wheel and showed it the oven. "Do you like it Cheese Wheel?"  
  
"Yugi. That is an inanimate object." said Kaiba.  
  
"Kaiba. You're brother is eating your shoe." said Yugi.  
  
Kaiba looked down. "Oh @#$%!" he shouted. You see, the reason for that @#$% was because there was no word that can be spelled at the moment. It is a new word with new sounds that Kaiba has just recently invented. Yes. It is.  
  
Yugi turned back to the oven. "Oven.."  
  
Then, the oven began to shake. Two large ovals appeared in random spots on the oven and the oven began to laugh maniacally.  
  
"Ahh!" shoued Yugi. "Its eyes aren't even!!"  
  
"Erp! Forgive me.." said the oven in a very evil voice. It rearranged its eyes so that they were perfectly even and actually looked like eyes. "Now, to continue my diabolical laugh!" it said. And it did. The oven began to laugh diabolically once again.  
  
"Ahh!" said Yami.  
  
"Don't be afraid of the oven." said Kaiba.  
  
"My muffins! I left the rest at home!"  
  
"You mean.." said the oven. "You are not screaming at me? The Evil Oven?"  
  
Yami looked over. "Ohmigawd. Its an evil oven!" he shouted. He screamed.  
  
The Evil Oven began to laugh once again. "Fear me!" it shouted.  
  
Yugi clutched his Cheese Wheel for safety, while Yami prayed to the Mountain Dew God for more muffins. Mokuba jumped into Kaiba's arms, and Kaiba began to sing a strange song in a terrified voice.  
  
"YES!" shouted the oven. "FEAR ME!! I AM AN EVIL OVEN WHO WILL RULE THE WORLD...ANNNND!! STEAL YOUR CHEESE WHEEL, YUGI MOTOU!!"  
  
will they all escape the Evil Oven? will mokuba go rabid? will bandit keith attempt to steal the evil oven and it turn gets sucked into the moons of the sun? is my name really that really big one at the top? oh well who knows ... i want a muffin... 


End file.
